the value of being vertically challenged

Warning: the following post is probably not very politically correct. Read at your own risk.

Sitting on the plane and I cannot help but notice the value of being overweight when you are in need of sleep. First, our heftier friends naturally have space because they always get the middle seat, then they rest their arms on the armrest (I cannot believe Seinfeld never had a show on wrestling for the armrest with your fellow passenger - that would have been a classic). Well, in the case of the people that are vertically challenged, there is no contest: you should be happy to get ¼ of your own seat.

Then comes the sleeping part. Today the person next to me has her head resting perfectly on her chest like it was designed for that, resting so comfortably on her two pillows (if I tried to rest my head on my chest I would need to have been doing yoga for 10 years). Then she starts the Snoring, which as they say, takes the cake (and in fact, she ate mine as well). If I had a bull horn or a microphone on me, I would have placed it under her nose to amplify the sound even more. Can she not hear herself?!
After 10 minutes of feeling her vibrations, I started to fantasize about me ripping out her tonsils or whatever makes you snore. I’d look it up but I can’t google it now (Something interesting, Word thinks google is misspelled how ironic).

So my suggestion for all those economy class passengers is this: when you check in, make sure to request who you are sitting next to and ask how much they weigh. Another airline suggestion would be to weigh the person not just the luggage. It reminds me of the time when I once flew and as a joke, requested from the check-in person “who am I sitting next to”. She said “Mr.
Smith”, which I mentally noted. As I boarded the plane, I looked down at the older gentleman sitting there and I greeted him, “Good morning Mr. Smith”.
He looked down at his shirt to see if he is wearing a tag that said his name. To prolong the joke I told him, “We are watching you”. The whole flight Mr. Smith did not relax for a moment, even after I explained to him that I was joking. Funny, I thought it was totally hysterical.

Karaoke @#$^(&

I recently traveled to the Island (St. Vincent) and learnt something interesting about Karaoke. In the first place, whoever came up with the idea that everyone, including those people who sound like my grandmother’s dying dog, can actually sing just because they think they sound like Pavarotti in their showers? My belief is there needs to be a “mercy” rule where the crowd can cut the song off (or the real singer rises from his grave) and grab the mic and use it to clobber the Karaoke singers. Imagine what the composers and singers think when their songs are being butchered in front of a crowd of drunken businessmen.

I was told that Karaoke comes from “carry a key”. Well, let me tell you, that night in a quiet bar on a roof top in St. Vincent there was not a lot of carrying going on. The first girl to sing was so off-key that the DJ “accidentally” (right) shut off the power and blamed it on the rain. I totally understand now why there is drinking going on with this past-time.
My first take was that the people needed to lose their inhibitions and get the guts to go up and sing. However, now I really understand: it’s for the listeners so we don’t have to hear the off-key singers. Sort of like being the last guy in the bar and the girl who would never catch your eye under normal circumstances after 10 drinks is looking really attractive (so what she is missing some teeth and has a stump foot). The drinking is definitely for the benefit of the listeners.

The little people (in our minds) the ones who serve us on the lane he ones who hold the doors open those people need more respect from us. I tell you I was in a fancy restaurant and happen to be hosted by MSN, as is it customary they give prizes at the end. Well I win the gift (a nice MP3 player) and with out thinking I call over the waiter ho happen to be really nice and gave him the gift. His initial reaction was “no I cannot take it” when I insisted he said “wow this is the best tip I ever got”.

I have to say the look on his face was priceless and I am so glad I experienced it, the guys from Target (Tarjay in French) were very impressed and I hope they actually take a lesson from it. I do remember a commercial that spoke about the little guy (Miller) it touched me and go the message home. The little guy is not so little he is everyone of us at a stage in our lives r us in a situation where we have no control we need to respect them and make them us because we are all part of the global society and the world is always turning so today you are Mr. Executive tomorrow Mr. placing the quarters in the pay tolls because people are to lazy to stick out a hand and throw it in the bin.

One thing I did learn from an MSN dinner, I happen to invite a fellow conference person to a dinner in her high pitched voice she says “I won this trip I better GOOGLE some good places to go” the place turned deathly silent people whispering “she said the G word at a M dinner” well I didn’t hear the end of it and the company is banned from advertising with MSN. Not sure the lesson here however one thing I do not so is invite poeple to dinners that are not hosted by me.

Working in marketing I am constantly critiquing ads and trying to understand what the guy was smoking when he came up with that crap. Well now that the Olympics are over hopefully the talking beavers will get build some dams somewhere, I know in the beginning we were like yes its funny but the being and official sponsor of the Olympics you get to see allot of the beavers (this is for the Canadian viewers sorry).

I just love the Olympic logo they created it's very smart, however Canada needs roots back the opening ceremony costume was so bad. Roots where are you we need you back the Americans look great in Roots. Why would team Canada not buy from the best manufacturer of sporting goods, the company has people flying in from around the world to buy the merchandise and they need to go with a another company, that’s almost as bad as Team Canada (hockey) getting outplayed and knocked out of medal contention.

Another travel day and I am excited to say I learnt something so wild from one of my fellow passengers, when you want to transfer pets you need to pay $50 per animal. Well that’s great if you have one pet however imagine you have 3 pets a dog, cat, and hamster that’s already allot of cash for your friends that are flying with the luggage.

This fellow was livid to find out that the airlines would not comp him on the hamster, his argument was simple the hamster is small cute and should not be the same rate as the huge dog and cat. He contemplated driving just to teach the airline a lesson but he opted out based on the distance (Miami to Toronto). Well I was pleasantly surprised to find out how we went around the airlines, can you guess? Well he taped the hamster in a box to the top of the dog cage and he rode dog coach class. Is it genius or just practical who knows, what I do know is big cooperation’s need to think small to be able to cater to all customers. If I ran an airline I might just say “the hamster is on us” that can be a slogan I see it already “the hamster flies free” not sure it is a global message however the Hamster guys would just love it.

Hey all this is my blog a bit about everything one day this will become the bases of my book titled "Being Present", for now it's just me spewing ideas and tidbits of information based on my experiences and views of the world we live in.

Let me start with a funny story that occurred last week at the internet conference I was speaking at Etail. I was sitting outside meeting with Jay Katz from cosmeticmall.com when we see this woman at a table near us screaming into her cell phone. She is very loud and it sounded like she was saying "MAX" I cannot describe how funny it sounded and we were in stitches laughing. When she finished her call she turn to us all flustered and says "My dog walker let my dog loose and now we cannot find it so i am trying to teach him/her how to call my dog Max'. You could imagine how silly we felt so I said to her that I would say a prayer that she can find her dog. She was moved and replied that she felt better knowing I would say a prayer on her behalf. Well that evening at the cocktail we meet and she is so happy (the dog was found), "Pinny thanks for the prayer and I knew when you said you would pray I would find Max" well here is the email she sent me after the event so beautiful and touching, I guess we never know how we can make a difference in peoples lives.

Pinny!

I do believe things are bershert, and am SO glad to have met you! WOW! It’s always nice to meet people who understand that delicate balance between work an life. So---Thanks for your kindness, and I’d love to reconnect more personally, in addition to chatting about business/helping you in any way I can. I must say, everyone at the conference seemed to know you AND I am likewise happy to have made your acquaintance.
My wonderful dog Max, likewise also thanks you for your helpful prayers at that particular moment. SO---to really reinforce our mutual gratitude, I’ve attached a picture of Max, so as to send back to you some VERY good vibes and thanks again for your kind words.

Risa

I guess life sends us the curve balls and it's our responsibility to deal with it however the people around us sometimes can effect the way we approach the situation, she believed she would find the dog based on how I reacted and I am thankful that I had the sensitivity at that moment.
As a marketer (defiantly a breed on its own) we look at moments in time and have the ability to see it through the lens of the consumer.

The olden day Marketing professionals (I say that with a bit of sarcasm) got away with fooling the consumer and focusing on what they liked and how they found the product worked for the bottom line. Today with the internet and globalization the market place is full of reviews and customers chatting about products and service we cannot ignore that and must really care about the consumer I repeat CARE because in the end of the day they will know you are lying or trying to full them. So I guess the lesson i learnt was place yourself in someone else’s shoes for the best outcome.

Pinny

Knowing the Lingo

Ok I consider myself some what of a maven when it comes to popular culture, well I guess I need to get a lesson or two.

As mentioned before I was at a conference in Palm Springs and while traveling I met up with the studios (more about that later) in LA.

After my meeting with Warner Brothers Elizabeth (the sweetest of the bunch) invites me out with her and her friends for some drinks. SO we go out in her cute little Mini (wow those cars are big inside you need to experience it to believe it, I guess those commercials where someone is in the car and 5 other people come out of the car as well is not so outlandish). Well while telling a story that evening Lindsey is constantly telling me to "shut up" "shut up"and it's really pissing me off, finally I tell her "I will not shut up if you don't like the story tune out" so they all start to laugh at me (sweet of them) and they explain me that SHUT UP is a term used of disbelief not disrespect who knew (I guess I was the only one apparently). I knew "get out" from Seinfeld however "Shut up" not, well I guess we live and learn.

My observation is that as a marketer we need to be really with the times, if you really want to connect to the youngins. As we get older and smarter the world is changing much faster then we can imagine so how does one stay with the times, so much to read so much to see always changing. Is nick with Jessica is Tom with Katie is J lo with Ben or is he with what’s her name. I am not sure what the real answer is however what I do know is if someone tells you "shut up" don't

Pinny